Just, no.

Bizarre Tech: Engineering baby book, MOWO, Winston’s watches

Image credit: Winston's Watches

What’s up, friends? Once again, I’ve managed to find a few interesting – and weird – pieces of tech for you (‘tech’ being a loose term for one of them). Have a nice time!

Engineering baby book

The quest for world domination starts at infancy

So, computers are made up of on and off signals, and this book claims to show some ways that computers combine on/off signals to do interesting things.

It’s a simple board book, which is apparently designed to keep your baby engaged while they learn about the ‘stuff’ computers are made from. The maker of the book also recommends it to people who “skipped CE150” – whatever that is.

Maybe I need the book?

According to Chase Roberts, the gadget’s creator, ‘Computer Engineering for Babies’ (I’m sure he could condense the title a little, right? Perhaps an acronym? CEB?) has two buttons and an LED. The book explores basic computer logic gates, including NOT, OR, AND, XOR and a Latch. It uses light sensors to detect which page is open and change the operands accordingly. So the baby is learning basic computer engineering.

Just imagine, though. You’ve looked at the baby monitor, and your sweet angel is missing from their bed. The sneaky wee thing has crept out, managed to leave their room, without your knowledge. Miffed, because you were enjoying your tot-free time and had just gotten comfortable, you heave your tired body off the sofa and walk up the stairs.

You see the office door is open, and you can hear the tinkering sound of the computer keyboard, as if someone is typing.

You are confused. Your partner isn’t home. Oh god, it’s an intruder. And where’s the baby?!

Being careful not to step on the noisy floorboards, you poke your head around the office door.

You do a double take as you see your wee one, who has managed to clamber on the swivel chair, tapping on the keys, staring intently at the screen.

You gasp in shock, and the child turns to look at you. With menace in their eyes, they whisper: “Mother, I crave violence.” Then they press the enter key...


According to Roberts, the book is designed to be “quietly entertaining while helping build basic intuition for simple digital logic concepts”. Cool.

The prototype has six pages and each page has a different function; sensors can detect which one you’re on so the buttons have different functions.

For example: “When you open the AND page, the LED is only lit when both buttons are pressed,” says Roberts. “And when you are open on the NOT page the LED is on as long as the button is NOT being pressed. And each page lights the LED with a different colour.” Yep. Simple pimple, am I right? Had to read that through a couple of times.

The book should supposedly last about a year and a half and has a replaceable battery. it’s primarily made of ‘greyboard’, which is 100 per cent recyclable, and will be shipped using no plastics. Wooo.


MOWO furniture

Sea-sickening furniture

Do you want a weird, bendy seat that makes you move and feel a bit out of sorts?

MOWO furniture is apparently anything but an ordinary seat. Well, yeah, it looks like you can’t actually relax on it.

I’d be all like “just going to pop a squat on here, oop, no can do, can’t do that, it’s moving... let me try and switch... no, no, that’s moving too. How’s about I... oh, nope, can’t do that... you know what, I’m just going to stand up.”

The company sells stools and mats, and they’re not solid. You can apparently feel the shape bend and twist when you sit down. Just what I need after a long day is the inability to stay seated. Every move you make “is mirrored in the structure beneath you” and it turns sitting into a “an active and playful experience”.

I’d rather have a seat that, ya know, seats me?

According to the creators, MOWO stools make you move, swing, bounce and wiggle. The mats are springy yet supportive though, so you can relax... ish. There’s no backrest, so you’ll have to maintain your posture.

MOWO says changing positions regularly when seated can make a positive difference to our bodies and, according to their research, we move on average 53 times per hour when seated. “Simply said, people are ‘unstable’.” That’s 100 per cent me. Fidgety and unstable. MOWO reckons chairs should accommodate body movement.

So how do the stools and mats get so springy, you may ask? Is it magic? Science genius?

Actually, they’re made of thin and curved plywood to give it its bounciness. SURPRISE.


Baby watch

Shoot me now

“Finally, a baby accessory specifically for swag.”

I literally have no idea why a baby would ever require or want ‘swag’. It is a baby.

The person who purchases this for their little’un... I would happily punch them in the face.

What kind of idiot would want this for their baby?! They can’t count yet. Also... THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CONTROL THEIR OWN WEE AND BODY MOVEMENTS.

I’m talking about the baby here. Then again, it can apply for whoever decides this would be a good addition to their child’s everyday wear.

The adjustable hole sizes mean your baby can wear their watch until they’re about four years old. Fantastic.

Winston’s Watches are made of leather and wood and come in black, brown and camo. With camo at least you can joke about it being invisible.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention. It’s not actually a real watch?! It has no battery and is ‘set’ to the baby’s birth date.

Good lord.

You can follow them on Instagram @winstonswatches if you really want to.

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