Bizarre Tech: spying bird feeder, smart ear cleaner and HumBird speaker

Bird Buddy

Birds go tweet, buddy goes peep.

Hey you. Yeah, I see you. You pervert. You want a Bird Buddy? It’s a smart bird feeder that notifies you via an app when a feathered friend has approached the vicinity.

The in-built camera turns on, records and takes pictures of the wee thing as it pecks away at the bird seed. And you can get your kicks as you watch it and take pictures on your phone.

The team behind the Bird Buddy says it captures their photos and organises them in a “beautiful collection that is easy to view and share”. Yeah, all right there you slime ball.

You get a notification when a birdy comes to visit for a schnack. Imagine if you got a tweet. Oh the hilarity. The feeder can recognise over 1,000 species of feathered floofs, and you can help experts by contributing data to establish the first open-source database of bird populations.

There’s a built-in microphone, so Bird Buddy knows what bird is approaching according to its song and you can control the spy camera with your app, which also gives you hints and tips on how to attract new species to your garden.

To be honest, the demo images look good, and if you’re interested in bird watching and what not, it’s a unique perspective that could bring some semblance of joy in this day and age.

But don’t set one up in an aviary, otherwise your phone will be popping off like nobody’s business.

Bird Buddy comes in blue or yellow and is easy to refill with bird snacks, and sends you a notification when it’s running low.

Robotic ear cleaner

Ew.

‘We heard your voice, and now we are launching the latest generation of the smart visual cleaner.’

Nope. Nope you didn’t hear us. Because I would have said back away with that. Oof.

The Bebird N3 Pro (I don’t know why they put bird in the name, but alas, ‘hear’ we are. Ha) apparently uses high-tech robotic arm technology to exceed your ear expectations. I wouldn’t think they would use ‘low-tech’ to clean your ears, as you’d probably end up with a burst eardrum, or come to think of it, no ear at all, after the basic robot arm lops it off after glitching on the spinner thingy.

Can you tell I have no idea what I’m talking about?

Anyway, the team behind the ear spritzer have the motto: “to offer the simplest solution for ear cleaning in the safest way”. Not really a concise and motivating choice of slogan, there. Apparently, the N3 Pro brings a fresh design to the most important self-care you do most often and makes it easier than ever.

They also say unlike the previous generation, the new Bebird N3 Pro ear scoops will not fall off and it’s more secured. FALL OFF? WHERE?! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Via an app on your phone, you can watch what’s in there as you eliminate all the wax and build-up and bleugh. Then again, I think I’m one of those people who would be oddly satisfied, watching the hard bits and goop get chipped away.

The gadget has a 10Mpixel HD camera – said to improve clarity and enhance accuracy of getting rid of every single build-up. Not for the weak of stomach, I assume.

There’s a safety tweezer, which, when opened, extracts wax from the ear. When it’s closed, the ear spoon (ha) becomes a smart, visual ear cleaning rod.

All this malarkey for ear cleaning.

It is equipped with three different sizes: small, medium, and large opening, and you can adjust accordingly.

The N3 Pro cleans in all directions with 360° angle detection. The 6-Axis Smart Gyroscope (just smooshing technical words together there) can detect the slightest movement of the cleaning tweezer. According to the Pro’s makers, it stops the cleaning tweezer from “being inserted more in-depth into the ear and protects against injuries to the eardrum” and brain. I joke on the last bit. But don’t go jamming it in there just to see.

Suitable for tiny humans three years old onwards, the Bebird N3 Pro is almost the same temperature as the human body, so you don’t recoil when it gets stuck in there.

It has a long-lasting battery life of up to 300mAh capacity – and for safety, the Bebird N3 Pro has passed all required tests and received several safety certificates. I really hope this has been approved and recommended by ENT doctors, otherwise you could be doing a whole lot of mischief to your ears.

Get stuck in, I suppose.

HumBird speaker

Anything is a speaker, if you just believe.

Now, this would be handy if it creates decent volume. If it only gets to hummingbird level, then I shall pass.

HumBird Speaker is said to be the world’s smallest and most versatile bone conduction speaker ‘that allows you to have a different, but always spectacular experience of sound anywhere, in any context.’ Apparently, anything hollow can be transformed into a speaker.

The 35g speaker connects to your phone or Bluetooth-enabled device, and then you can listen to whatever the heck you want. Just make sure you got some sort of hollow thing to pop it on, and you’re away!

The team says it delivers a high sound volume, being four to five times louder than the average cellphone speaker volume, reaching up to 115dB, and it allows you to personalise the tone quality. Well, that’s something.

They highly recommend using two HumBird speakers (they just want you to buy more) interconnected, so you can have a ‘Surround Sound 2.0 experience’, since it’s also True Wireless Stereo-enabled, as well as Bluetooth-y.

Also, depending on what hollow surface you put the HumBird on – helmet, plastic storage box, your ex-partner’s heart – it gives you different sound effects. Neat.