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Buzzsore - Weasel Watch
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Place of dead words...
Growth sloth
Cloudspeak #21
Fancy a take-away?
For the passionately excited...
Bankers face getting fried by 'electrified ring-fence' or 'nuclear option'...
Cloudspeak #20
Cloudspeak #19
'Ecosystem' now has its own ecosystem
TXT & the sngl usr...
Cloudspeak #18
Cloudspeak #17
Cloudspeak #16
Cloudspeak #15
"I do not want to upgrade to a stupid 'meal deal'"
Cloudspeak #14
Cloudspeak #13
Wishing upon a trope...
'All of the above' ticks all annoyance boxes
Große datenmengen blues...
2 May 2013 by James Hayes
"The word is now a virus. The flu virus may have once been a healthy lung cell. It is now a parasitic organism that invades and damages the central nervous system." Thus spake 'Beat' author William S. Burroughs over
50 years ago. Burroughs was among the first bicamerally-minded thinkers to recognise that language has a viral propensity that many humans not only have low resistance to, but will willingly contract, in their dual quests to abate status anxiety and fill-out the factoid void.
When outbreaks of contagious infections such as measles combine with the contaminated strains of the word virus it's open season for the cliché-rati and jargonistas. Chances of catching measles in affected parts of Wales becomes a postcode lottery; morbilli is the monster we never quite killed off, that could be a game-changer in regard to how we view so-called dormant-thought-defunct legacy epidemics...
The MMR vaccine seems to be proving an effective antidote to measles - but what can vaccinate us against the sub-vocal speech raging inside our heads, and topped-up by ceaseless media meaning mongering?
"Modern man has lost the option of silence," added Mr Burroughs. "Try to achieve even ten seconds of inner silence. You will encounter a resisting organism that forces you to talk. That organism is the word..."
Hmmm... more antibacterial mouthwash, anyone?
Meanwhile here is E&T's latest updated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific and unmethodical media monitor:
1. Game-changer
2. Postcode lottery
3. Level playing field
4. On steroids (as in 'This is Government policy on steroids')
5. Inspirational
6. Finesse (as in 'finesse an argument')
7. Poster boy / poster girl
8. The train has left the station
9. Fit for purpose
10. On my watch / not on my watch
11. Captured the public imagination / public's imagination
12. Fair play
Spring Bonus Buzzword: Vector (as in 'Badgers are the major wildlife vector for the spread of TB').
50 years ago. Burroughs was among the first bicamerally-minded thinkers to recognise that language has a viral propensity that many humans not only have low resistance to, but will willingly contract, in their dual quests to abate status anxiety and fill-out the factoid void.
When outbreaks of contagious infections such as measles combine with the contaminated strains of the word virus it's open season for the cliché-rati and jargonistas. Chances of catching measles in affected parts of Wales becomes a postcode lottery; morbilli is the monster we never quite killed off, that could be a game-changer in regard to how we view so-called dormant-thought-defunct legacy epidemics...
The MMR vaccine seems to be proving an effective antidote to measles - but what can vaccinate us against the sub-vocal speech raging inside our heads, and topped-up by ceaseless media meaning mongering?
"Modern man has lost the option of silence," added Mr Burroughs. "Try to achieve even ten seconds of inner silence. You will encounter a resisting organism that forces you to talk. That organism is the word..."
Hmmm... more antibacterial mouthwash, anyone?
Meanwhile here is E&T's latest updated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific and unmethodical media monitor:
1. Game-changer
2. Postcode lottery
3. Level playing field
4. On steroids (as in 'This is Government policy on steroids')
5. Inspirational
6. Finesse (as in 'finesse an argument')
7. Poster boy / poster girl
8. The train has left the station
9. Fit for purpose
10. On my watch / not on my watch
11. Captured the public imagination / public's imagination
12. Fair play
Spring Bonus Buzzword: Vector (as in 'Badgers are the major wildlife vector for the spread of TB').
Growth sloth
3 April 2013 by James Hayes
Whenever a 'business leader' (company boss) being interviewed in the media is asked about how well their company is faring in the 'current economic climate', it's odds-on that they'll reply that it is 'witnessing exponential growth' or is 'growing exponentially'. The terms have become inextricably linked in the language of commercial sound bites, because business leaders know that 'exponential growth' conjures-up the positive image of an ascending line graph or bar chart in the mind of the listener.
I've yet to hear a business leader use the phrase 'exponential decay' when the balance sheet is veering toward the red; more likely they'll speak of 'negative growth'. The more inventive of the species may even try for something akin to faux disciplinary terminology - recent favourites have included 'revenue reversal' and 'income inversion' - neither of which, however, have a place in E&T's latest unscientifically-generated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords...
1. Level playing field
2. Soft landing
3. Exponential
4. Game-changer
5. Postcode lottery
6. The train has left the station
7. Key (as in 'key issues', 'key metrics')
8. Low-hanging fruit (NB: there are no 'high-hanging fruit')
9. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
10. Comfort zone
11. Thought leadership
12. Wake-up call
13. Ecosystem
I've yet to hear a business leader use the phrase 'exponential decay' when the balance sheet is veering toward the red; more likely they'll speak of 'negative growth'. The more inventive of the species may even try for something akin to faux disciplinary terminology - recent favourites have included 'revenue reversal' and 'income inversion' - neither of which, however, have a place in E&T's latest unscientifically-generated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords...
1. Level playing field
2. Soft landing
3. Exponential
4. Game-changer
5. Postcode lottery
6. The train has left the station
7. Key (as in 'key issues', 'key metrics')
8. Low-hanging fruit (NB: there are no 'high-hanging fruit')
9. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
10. Comfort zone
11. Thought leadership
12. Wake-up call
13. Ecosystem
Cloudspeak #21
22 March 2013 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing buzzterms, hoopla, and market insight...
"The benefits of cloud computing are widely recognised... But, somewhat surprisingly, businesses still fail to factor in the broader benefits of this delivery model when calculating ROI, preferring instead to focus on cost-savings... The benefits brought by cloud computing go beyond the IT department purse strings and it is essential that these are factored in from the start when deciding whether to move to a cloud-based solution... When it comes to ROI, businesses and vendors alike must think more laterally about improvements to technical capabilities and the knock-on effect that it has on the business at large, such as improved flexibility and productivity..."
Michel Robert, managing director, Claranet
"The benefits of cloud computing are widely recognised... But, somewhat surprisingly, businesses still fail to factor in the broader benefits of this delivery model when calculating ROI, preferring instead to focus on cost-savings... The benefits brought by cloud computing go beyond the IT department purse strings and it is essential that these are factored in from the start when deciding whether to move to a cloud-based solution... When it comes to ROI, businesses and vendors alike must think more laterally about improvements to technical capabilities and the knock-on effect that it has on the business at large, such as improved flexibility and productivity..."
Michel Robert, managing director, Claranet
Fancy a take-away?
4 March 2013 by James Hayes
According to analyst IBISWorld take-away restaurants have suffered during the past five years as deteriorating economic conditions have led consumers to
cut back on discretionary spending. The sector will record 'weak growth' during the rest of 2013, IBISWorld predicts.
The phrase 'take-away' is, of course, no longer restricted to meals-to-go; it has in recent years entered common usage in a different context, that of the lingo of business efficiency: the 'takeaways' from a report, meeting, or event are the key points a person derives from them: often they are presented amid the 'headline findings' or maybe 'executive summary' of a report or survey. Use of takeaways in this context date back to the mid-2000s, but there's been a resurgence recent weeks that's won this dread phrase a place in E&T's unscientifically-generated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords...
1. Take-aways
2. Low-hanging fruit (NB: there are no 'high-hanging fruit')
3. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
4. Key (as in 'key issues', 'key metrics')
5. Box-ticking exercise / ticks all the right boxes
6. Ecosystem
7. Excited / exciting
8. Big ask
9. Of biblical proportions (i.e., 'a data deluge of biblical proportions')
10. Magic bullet / silver bullet (as in 'there is no magic bullet for solving gun crime')
11. Thought leadership
12. Inappropriate (as in 'inappropriate behaviour')
13. Wake-up call
14: Level playing field
cut back on discretionary spending. The sector will record 'weak growth' during the rest of 2013, IBISWorld predicts.
The phrase 'take-away' is, of course, no longer restricted to meals-to-go; it has in recent years entered common usage in a different context, that of the lingo of business efficiency: the 'takeaways' from a report, meeting, or event are the key points a person derives from them: often they are presented amid the 'headline findings' or maybe 'executive summary' of a report or survey. Use of takeaways in this context date back to the mid-2000s, but there's been a resurgence recent weeks that's won this dread phrase a place in E&T's unscientifically-generated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords...
1. Take-aways
2. Low-hanging fruit (NB: there are no 'high-hanging fruit')
3. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
4. Key (as in 'key issues', 'key metrics')
5. Box-ticking exercise / ticks all the right boxes
6. Ecosystem
7. Excited / exciting
8. Big ask
9. Of biblical proportions (i.e., 'a data deluge of biblical proportions')
10. Magic bullet / silver bullet (as in 'there is no magic bullet for solving gun crime')
11. Thought leadership
12. Inappropriate (as in 'inappropriate behaviour')
13. Wake-up call
14: Level playing field
For the passionately excited...
20 February 2013 by James Hayes
Is 'excited' the new 'passionate'? A question well worth asking by buzzword buffs, as for some time now politicians, poseurs, and sundry other media me-ists have been anxious to
convince constituents of their earnestness and sincerity have fixated on the word 'passionate' to characterise the depth of their driving emotions. "Yes, I feel passionately about opera", "I feel so very passionately about this regeneration project"; then there's the double-passionate, as in "I feel passionately, passionately about the moral climate in this country", as if merely deploying this word constitutes irrefutable proof and assurance of their heartfelt sincerity.
But PWFP (people who feel passionate) are now being replaced by PWFEs - people who feel excited. You just listen out for anyone being interviewed on BBC Radio 4, say. 'Excited' has been slowly entering public discourse as the new defining adjective for the emotionally stirred. Now politicians and social commenters are excited by the possibilities of space mining, or find the Richard III disinterment very exciting... My view is that it's a somewhat weaker substitute: you can just about imaging someone faking intellectual passion - but intellectual excitement?
So here is E&T's latest updated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Excited / exciting
2. Box-ticking exercise
3. Ring-fence
4. Key (as in 'key issues', 'key metrics')
5. Low-hanging fruit (NB: there are no 'high-hanging fruit')
6. Magic bullet / silver bullet (as in 'there is no magic bullet for solving gun crime')
7. Backstory
8. Moral climate
9. Nuclear option
10. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
11. Big ask
12. Thought leadership
convince constituents of their earnestness and sincerity have fixated on the word 'passionate' to characterise the depth of their driving emotions. "Yes, I feel passionately about opera", "I feel so very passionately about this regeneration project"; then there's the double-passionate, as in "I feel passionately, passionately about the moral climate in this country", as if merely deploying this word constitutes irrefutable proof and assurance of their heartfelt sincerity.
But PWFP (people who feel passionate) are now being replaced by PWFEs - people who feel excited. You just listen out for anyone being interviewed on BBC Radio 4, say. 'Excited' has been slowly entering public discourse as the new defining adjective for the emotionally stirred. Now politicians and social commenters are excited by the possibilities of space mining, or find the Richard III disinterment very exciting... My view is that it's a somewhat weaker substitute: you can just about imaging someone faking intellectual passion - but intellectual excitement?
So here is E&T's latest updated list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Excited / exciting
2. Box-ticking exercise
3. Ring-fence
4. Key (as in 'key issues', 'key metrics')
5. Low-hanging fruit (NB: there are no 'high-hanging fruit')
6. Magic bullet / silver bullet (as in 'there is no magic bullet for solving gun crime')
7. Backstory
8. Moral climate
9. Nuclear option
10. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
11. Big ask
12. Thought leadership
Bankers face getting fried by 'electrified ring-fence' or 'nuclear option'...
5 February 2013 by James Hayes
UK Chancellor George Osborne's Banking Reform Bill has set the media's buzzword barometers bouncing with his proposal to 'ring-fence' the high street activities of each UK bank,
so that they are protected from riskier investment banking. The metaphor has been received added value by further suggesting that the ring-fences be "electrified" if banks fail to implement Osborne's reforms. Later pundits suggested that electrified ring-fences be topped by a layer of barbed wire to deter bankers from attempting to climb over them; but what safeguards can be deployed to stop bankers from attempting to tunnel under said electrified ring-fences remains under debate. A warhead might suffice, according to the Financial Times, which reports that 'the chancellor's team said he could not resist the political pressure to add the "nuclear option" of full banking separation to the regulatory arsenal... as more banking scandals came to light'.
Here's E&T's latest list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Ring-fence
2. Nuclear option
3. Magic bullet / silver bullet (as in 'there is no magic bullet for solving gun crime')
4. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
5. Moral climate
6. Thought leadership
7. Box-ticking exercise
8. Backstory
9. Future-proof
10. Transparency
11. Discontinuity
12. Economic miracle (usually preceded by "China's")
so that they are protected from riskier investment banking. The metaphor has been received added value by further suggesting that the ring-fences be "electrified" if banks fail to implement Osborne's reforms. Later pundits suggested that electrified ring-fences be topped by a layer of barbed wire to deter bankers from attempting to climb over them; but what safeguards can be deployed to stop bankers from attempting to tunnel under said electrified ring-fences remains under debate. A warhead might suffice, according to the Financial Times, which reports that 'the chancellor's team said he could not resist the political pressure to add the "nuclear option" of full banking separation to the regulatory arsenal... as more banking scandals came to light'.
Here's E&T's latest list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Ring-fence
2. Nuclear option
3. Magic bullet / silver bullet (as in 'there is no magic bullet for solving gun crime')
4. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
5. Moral climate
6. Thought leadership
7. Box-ticking exercise
8. Backstory
9. Future-proof
10. Transparency
11. Discontinuity
12. Economic miracle (usually preceded by "China's")
Cloudspeak #20
13 December 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing buzzterms, hoopla, and market insight...
"Businesses will not be able to compete without hybrid cloud storage strategies... The need to create, store and access more data, from mobile and traditional computing devices, makes old storage and data protection solutions obsolete, inflexible and expensive. If IT departments don't provide end users with this capability, end-users will bypass IT and obtain it themselves."
Alan Laing, vice president EMEA, Acronis
"Businesses will not be able to compete without hybrid cloud storage strategies... The need to create, store and access more data, from mobile and traditional computing devices, makes old storage and data protection solutions obsolete, inflexible and expensive. If IT departments don't provide end users with this capability, end-users will bypass IT and obtain it themselves."
Alan Laing, vice president EMEA, Acronis
Cloudspeak #19
28 November 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing buzzterms, hoopla, and market insight...
"The key to developing a trustworthy, effective cloud-enabled service is in taking knowledge and expertise not just from recent advancements in cloud infrastructures, but decades of outsourced data management... Whilst enterprises of all sizes are increasingly moving towards external infrastructures with varying levels of virtualisation, emphasis on business critical risk is as strong as ever."
Benoit Mercier, ICT solutions director, Telehouse
"The key to developing a trustworthy, effective cloud-enabled service is in taking knowledge and expertise not just from recent advancements in cloud infrastructures, but decades of outsourced data management... Whilst enterprises of all sizes are increasingly moving towards external infrastructures with varying levels of virtualisation, emphasis on business critical risk is as strong as ever."
Benoit Mercier, ICT solutions director, Telehouse
'Ecosystem' now has its own ecosystem
23 October 2012 by James Hayes
As we move into the final quarter of 2012, the most in-vogue tech jargon word of this year must surely be 'ecosystem': last Thursday, for instance, I heard it uttered some 12 times in one day during the
course of my visit to the IP EXPO exhibition and conference, and then later the IET Young Professionals Event - the splendid evening lecture by Eben Upton, Founder of the Raspberry Pi Foundation.
Wikipedia's definition defines ecosystems conservatively as 'a community of living organisms (plants, animals and microbes) in conjunction with the non-living components of their environment (things like air, water and mineral soil), interacting as a system'. The Oxford Dictionary allows for a secondary usage, 'a complex network or interconnected systems', as in 'Silicon Valley's entrepreneurial ecosystem', but does so with a certain distaste, one fancies. In this respect, vendor brand value can be seen as the residual DNA of a technology-specific ecosystem. Here's E&T's latest list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Ecosystem
2. Moral climate
3. Discontinuity
4. Mandarins (as in 'civil service mandarins', 'Whitehall mandarins')
5. Transparency
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Narrative
9. Future-proof
10. 360° (as in a '360° view of the socio-political landscape')
11. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
12. Economic miracle (usually preceded by 'China's')
course of my visit to the IP EXPO exhibition and conference, and then later the IET Young Professionals Event - the splendid evening lecture by Eben Upton, Founder of the Raspberry Pi Foundation.
Wikipedia's definition defines ecosystems conservatively as 'a community of living organisms (plants, animals and microbes) in conjunction with the non-living components of their environment (things like air, water and mineral soil), interacting as a system'. The Oxford Dictionary allows for a secondary usage, 'a complex network or interconnected systems', as in 'Silicon Valley's entrepreneurial ecosystem', but does so with a certain distaste, one fancies. In this respect, vendor brand value can be seen as the residual DNA of a technology-specific ecosystem. Here's E&T's latest list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from our wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Ecosystem
2. Moral climate
3. Discontinuity
4. Mandarins (as in 'civil service mandarins', 'Whitehall mandarins')
5. Transparency
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Narrative
9. Future-proof
10. 360° (as in a '360° view of the socio-political landscape')
11. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
12. Economic miracle (usually preceded by 'China's')
TXT & the sngl usr...
8 October 2012 by James Hayes
Text (TXT) phrases - such as 'C U L8r', 'LOL', etc. - have become so much part of our daily lives that 25 per cent of polled Brits claim they are 'Textlexic' - prone to
using text words instead of normal English, according to a survey of 1000 persons by authentication solutions firm SecurEnvoy. And nearly 60 per cent think text, instant messages, and social media are "changing how we write" - and more than 40 per cent reckon that they are compromising their children's ability to write correctly.
'Wht a ld of cdswlp!' you may think. After all, when in the 19th Century telegram service providers adopted a price-per-word model, a whole new language of telegramese - a style of writing which leaves out words that are not important - to keep down costs. Did the Victorians throw up their petticoats in horror at the prospect of a generation of telegram senders starting to abbreviate their speech, or condense written correspondance accordingly, even when in those days you could send a 10,000-word love letter by penny post? They did not. What a pthtc bnch of wss we are in danger of turning into.
Meanwhile, here's the latest list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from E&T's wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Intuit
2. Economic miracle (usually preceded by 'China's')
3. Narrative
4. Mandarins (as in 'civil service mandarins', 'Whitehall mandarins')
5. Transparency
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Pleb (aka 'pleb rant' in context of Andrew Mitchell hoo-ha)
9. Backburner, backburnered (as in 'this proposal has been backburnered for now')
10. 360° (as in '360° view')
11. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
12. Moral climate
using text words instead of normal English, according to a survey of 1000 persons by authentication solutions firm SecurEnvoy. And nearly 60 per cent think text, instant messages, and social media are "changing how we write" - and more than 40 per cent reckon that they are compromising their children's ability to write correctly.
'Wht a ld of cdswlp!' you may think. After all, when in the 19th Century telegram service providers adopted a price-per-word model, a whole new language of telegramese - a style of writing which leaves out words that are not important - to keep down costs. Did the Victorians throw up their petticoats in horror at the prospect of a generation of telegram senders starting to abbreviate their speech, or condense written correspondance accordingly, even when in those days you could send a 10,000-word love letter by penny post? They did not. What a pthtc bnch of wss we are in danger of turning into.
Meanwhile, here's the latest list of over-used clichés, jargon, and buzzwords from E&T's wholly unscientific media monitor...
1. Intuit
2. Economic miracle (usually preceded by 'China's')
3. Narrative
4. Mandarins (as in 'civil service mandarins', 'Whitehall mandarins')
5. Transparency
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Pleb (aka 'pleb rant' in context of Andrew Mitchell hoo-ha)
9. Backburner, backburnered (as in 'this proposal has been backburnered for now')
10. 360° (as in '360° view')
11. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
12. Moral climate
Cloudspeak #18
17 September 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing jargon and hoopla...
"The market is clearly moving out of a nascent state into mainstream adoption[,] and with it the challenges are changing from clarity and comfort that the cloud is viable as an IT delivery model into achieving a strategic goal of integrating cloud within the wider IT agenda[,] and determining an effective and efficient path for more widely embracing cloud services without diminishing efficiency, control or governance."
Andy Burton, chair of CIF and CEO of Fasthosts
"The market is clearly moving out of a nascent state into mainstream adoption[,] and with it the challenges are changing from clarity and comfort that the cloud is viable as an IT delivery model into achieving a strategic goal of integrating cloud within the wider IT agenda[,] and determining an effective and efficient path for more widely embracing cloud services without diminishing efficiency, control or governance."
Andy Burton, chair of CIF and CEO of Fasthosts
Cloudspeak #17
24 August 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing jargon and hoopla...
"EtherCloud breaks through the complexity of legacy storage management, replacing it with a flexible, automated, programmable platform. This allows enterprise and cloud customers to provision and manage petabytes of high-performance block and file storage, with the same simplicity found in consumer cloud services. We are excited to enable the next generation of software-defined data centres, and drive complexity out of the most challenging layer of the data centre today - storage."
Anil Virmani, senior vice president of engineering, Coraid
"EtherCloud breaks through the complexity of legacy storage management, replacing it with a flexible, automated, programmable platform. This allows enterprise and cloud customers to provision and manage petabytes of high-performance block and file storage, with the same simplicity found in consumer cloud services. We are excited to enable the next generation of software-defined data centres, and drive complexity out of the most challenging layer of the data centre today - storage."
Anil Virmani, senior vice president of engineering, Coraid
Cloudspeak #16
17 August 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing jargon and hoopla...
"A degree of public scepticism surrounding cloud services is inevitable after such high expectations were set and therefore it's natural that, as the market matures, there will be some rebalancing of that expectation and understanding... The good news is that cloud services are now largely proven as offering viable IT deployment models regardless of organisational size, vertical or application area, and as such will continue to improve in both capability and adoption and I have no doubt that wider mainstream adoption will follow."
Andy Burton, chairman, Cloud Industry Forum
"A degree of public scepticism surrounding cloud services is inevitable after such high expectations were set and therefore it's natural that, as the market matures, there will be some rebalancing of that expectation and understanding... The good news is that cloud services are now largely proven as offering viable IT deployment models regardless of organisational size, vertical or application area, and as such will continue to improve in both capability and adoption and I have no doubt that wider mainstream adoption will follow."
Andy Burton, chairman, Cloud Industry Forum
Cloudspeak #15
1 August 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings and rehashes of cloud computing jargon...
"IT is a fashion industry and cloud computing is the new black."
Repurposing of an ages-old cloud computing cliché on latest Ovum Cloud Forum marketing email shot.
"IT is a fashion industry and cloud computing is the new black."
Repurposing of an ages-old cloud computing cliché on latest Ovum Cloud Forum marketing email shot.
"I do not want to upgrade to a stupid 'meal deal'"
13 July 2012 by James Hayes
Bugbear phrase of 2012 (so far) has to be 'meal deal'. You can't buy anything snacky now without
being asked if you want to 'upgrade' to a meal deal - for just an extra 20p you can add an apple or a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps to your pre-packed sandwich. As an acquaintance of mine observes, "The most annoying thing about the 'meal deal' phenomenon is the way shop staff stare at you when you decline their 'irresistible' offer, as though you're crazy for not going for it". Anyway, here's Buzzsore's latest update of the dirty dozen current clichés...
1. Kick it into the long grass
2. Be careful what you wish for
3. Systemic
4. Moral compass
5. Transparency
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
9. Trope
10. 360° (as in '360° view')
11. All of the above
12. Coping mechanism(s)
being asked if you want to 'upgrade' to a meal deal - for just an extra 20p you can add an apple or a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps to your pre-packed sandwich. As an acquaintance of mine observes, "The most annoying thing about the 'meal deal' phenomenon is the way shop staff stare at you when you decline their 'irresistible' offer, as though you're crazy for not going for it". Anyway, here's Buzzsore's latest update of the dirty dozen current clichés...
1. Kick it into the long grass
2. Be careful what you wish for
3. Systemic
4. Moral compass
5. Transparency
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
9. Trope
10. 360° (as in '360° view')
11. All of the above
12. Coping mechanism(s)
Cloudspeak #14
5 July 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings of cloud computing jargon...
"Cloud computing is becoming mainstream but there is still a lot of fear, uncertainty and doubt in the market... The reality is that experience, expectation and common sense all point to the fact that any one organisation will access IT in any combination of on-premise and in-cloud, and through any combination of service and deployment models. To this end it is essential that organisations are able to clearly assess for each project or application which scenario best achieves their objectives and how that fits within their wider and long term IT strategy."
Steve Harris, managing director, Polymorph
"Cloud computing is becoming mainstream but there is still a lot of fear, uncertainty and doubt in the market... The reality is that experience, expectation and common sense all point to the fact that any one organisation will access IT in any combination of on-premise and in-cloud, and through any combination of service and deployment models. To this end it is essential that organisations are able to clearly assess for each project or application which scenario best achieves their objectives and how that fits within their wider and long term IT strategy."
Steve Harris, managing director, Polymorph
Cloudspeak #13
18 June 2012 by James Hayes
An occasional series that celebrates notable outpourings of cloud computing jargon...
"Despite the cloud hype, many companies still find obtaining a group-level picture of current IT assets and how they support the business elusive. Britain's firms need much clearer IT system insight and scenario-planning to map out the key steps to 'cloud-readying' their organisation and cut management costs in the meantime... Many UK firms do not know if they are genuinely benefiting from 'first stage' virtualisation or early cloud adoption."
Glyn Heath, managing director, Centiq
"Despite the cloud hype, many companies still find obtaining a group-level picture of current IT assets and how they support the business elusive. Britain's firms need much clearer IT system insight and scenario-planning to map out the key steps to 'cloud-readying' their organisation and cut management costs in the meantime... Many UK firms do not know if they are genuinely benefiting from 'first stage' virtualisation or early cloud adoption."
Glyn Heath, managing director, Centiq
Wishing upon a trope...
6 June 2012 by James Hayes
What causes old adages like 'Be careful what you wish for' to suddenly become popular with media commentators? The phrase bears some relation to the well-worn 'Beware of what you wish for in youth, because
you will get it in middle life' (JW von Goethe, James Joyce), but in its purer form probably has its origins in Chinese proverbs. It's perfect for modern day punditry, because it sounds impressively like it has one foot in ancient profundity, and another in modern-day post-ironical wryness, with the added ring of a classic movie quote. Ditto 'trope', which is often used incorrectly by the media as a synonym for 'plank', as in a stated principle or objective comprising the political platform of a campaigning party. Both examples join the latest update of E&T's Buzzword Barometer.
1. Trope
2. Be careful what you wish for
3. Direction of travel
4. Transparency
5. Game-changer
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
9. Passionate / passionately
10. Cluster
11. All of the above
12. Sustainable / sustainability
you will get it in middle life' (JW von Goethe, James Joyce), but in its purer form probably has its origins in Chinese proverbs. It's perfect for modern day punditry, because it sounds impressively like it has one foot in ancient profundity, and another in modern-day post-ironical wryness, with the added ring of a classic movie quote. Ditto 'trope', which is often used incorrectly by the media as a synonym for 'plank', as in a stated principle or objective comprising the political platform of a campaigning party. Both examples join the latest update of E&T's Buzzword Barometer.
1. Trope
2. Be careful what you wish for
3. Direction of travel
4. Transparency
5. Game-changer
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking exercise
8. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS story)
9. Passionate / passionately
10. Cluster
11. All of the above
12. Sustainable / sustainability
'All of the above' ticks all annoyance boxes
23 April 2012 by James Hayes
An acquaintance of mine lets out a hostile roar every time someone uses the phrase 'all of the above'. For him it epitomises
the current disinclination to show commitment to a specific course of thought or action, as well as smacking of a self-satisfied sense of socially-slick über-equanimity. It wouldn't be so bad if 'all of the above' had not become such a clichéd reaction fuelled by media interviewers' propensity to pose multi-part questions (due to limited timeslots and audience attention spans): they cram in multiple points in the hope that it will retain the interest of as many viewers/listeners as possible, and then their wormy subjects are able express an all-encompassing assent. It is also exceedingly annoying on the ear, because people are apt to say 'All of the above' with a smarmy chuckle, as if to say 'Aha - I have outwitted your clever line of enquiry!' Anyway, here's the latest Buzzword Barometer:
1. Cluster
2. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS debate/comment)
3. Game-changer
4. Transparency
5. All of the above
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking
8. One size fits all / no one size fits all / none size fits all
9. Passionate / passionately
10. Vigorous (e.g., 'this policy will be vigorously pursued')
11. Informed decisions
12. Sustainable / sustainability
the current disinclination to show commitment to a specific course of thought or action, as well as smacking of a self-satisfied sense of socially-slick über-equanimity. It wouldn't be so bad if 'all of the above' had not become such a clichéd reaction fuelled by media interviewers' propensity to pose multi-part questions (due to limited timeslots and audience attention spans): they cram in multiple points in the hope that it will retain the interest of as many viewers/listeners as possible, and then their wormy subjects are able express an all-encompassing assent. It is also exceedingly annoying on the ear, because people are apt to say 'All of the above' with a smarmy chuckle, as if to say 'Aha - I have outwitted your clever line of enquiry!' Anyway, here's the latest Buzzword Barometer:
1. Cluster
2. Outcomes (especially 'patient outcomes' in any NHS debate/comment)
3. Game-changer
4. Transparency
5. All of the above
6. Thought leadership
7. Box ticking
8. One size fits all / no one size fits all / none size fits all
9. Passionate / passionately
10. Vigorous (e.g., 'this policy will be vigorously pursued')
11. Informed decisions
12. Sustainable / sustainability
Große datenmengen blues...
9 March 2012 by James Hayes
The ICT industry is often at its most inventive when coming up with new buzzwords and marketing speil, as has been well chronicled in this blog. At their best these not only
endorse new product development cycles, but also are flexible and versatile enough to be retro-fitted to existing technology in need of an image spruce-up.
'Cloud computing' is the most recent example of this phenomenon, although over the last two years the 'computing' part has been quietly jettisoned so that 'Cloud' can be reconfigured to serve both as a generic contextualiser ('storage in the Cloud', 'IP telephony in the Cloud'), and as a kind of catch-all prefix to a range of existing product (achieved through the ungainly intermediate coupling of 'cloud-enabled').
The latest entry in the buzzword lexicon much in evidence at the CeBIT international ICT trade fair this week is (of course) 'Big Data'. Big Data is always spelled with a capital B and a capital D for added marketing resonance. On exhibition stand displays you might even spot it in all caps - BIG DATA.
Who has the biggest Big Data solutions? Why Big Blue, of course, and from what looks like one of CeBIT's biggest stands, IBM has been bigging-up its Big Data offerings by bolting them onto parts of its existing portfolio and realising its jargonistic attributes at the same time - 'Big Data Security' and 'Big Data Analytics'. IBM is Big Data bananas - indeed, the computing giant declares that it wants to 'bring Big Data to the enterprise' - as though the enterprise hasn't already got quite enough data of all sizes to be getting on with.
Nonetheless, the size of your corporate data can a lot about a company's aspirations. Small-to-medium enterprises - SMEs - with Large Data requirements should subject their information management strategies to an immediate review.
Here in Hannover, the local techies speak not of große datenmengen, but of Big Data; ditto and likewise, cloud-computing, rather than wolke-datenverarbeitung. But curiously, another well-established bit of contemporary jargon, the 'Internet of Things' is referred to in translation - Das Internet der Dinge. Wonder why?
endorse new product development cycles, but also are flexible and versatile enough to be retro-fitted to existing technology in need of an image spruce-up.
'Cloud computing' is the most recent example of this phenomenon, although over the last two years the 'computing' part has been quietly jettisoned so that 'Cloud' can be reconfigured to serve both as a generic contextualiser ('storage in the Cloud', 'IP telephony in the Cloud'), and as a kind of catch-all prefix to a range of existing product (achieved through the ungainly intermediate coupling of 'cloud-enabled').
The latest entry in the buzzword lexicon much in evidence at the CeBIT international ICT trade fair this week is (of course) 'Big Data'. Big Data is always spelled with a capital B and a capital D for added marketing resonance. On exhibition stand displays you might even spot it in all caps - BIG DATA.
Who has the biggest Big Data solutions? Why Big Blue, of course, and from what looks like one of CeBIT's biggest stands, IBM has been bigging-up its Big Data offerings by bolting them onto parts of its existing portfolio and realising its jargonistic attributes at the same time - 'Big Data Security' and 'Big Data Analytics'. IBM is Big Data bananas - indeed, the computing giant declares that it wants to 'bring Big Data to the enterprise' - as though the enterprise hasn't already got quite enough data of all sizes to be getting on with.
Nonetheless, the size of your corporate data can a lot about a company's aspirations. Small-to-medium enterprises - SMEs - with Large Data requirements should subject their information management strategies to an immediate review.
Here in Hannover, the local techies speak not of große datenmengen, but of Big Data; ditto and likewise, cloud-computing, rather than wolke-datenverarbeitung. But curiously, another well-established bit of contemporary jargon, the 'Internet of Things' is referred to in translation - Das Internet der Dinge. Wonder why?
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